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As I get older, I try to come to terms with the fact that I’ve not created or gotten on the path to create as many great things as I would have hoped by this age. I think about ”Am I where I’d like to be? If not, why not, and what can I do about that to change my situation or my perspective? How can I feel better about it and how can I shift my goals and my behavior to make a future that I want? Which pressures are internal and which are external? Am I ok with being average?”
There’s a lot of pressure that comes from being great young, and many people I look up to such as Tezuka or Miyazaki created more than a few great things in their life and even have at least one impressive thing from their 20s. Maybe I can’t be that great or hard working, but I can keep trying and even if I’m 30 or 40 or 50 or 80 when I make something again that I can feel proud of, I think that’s fine, even if it’s just one thing. There’s no point in saying, “If only i was a more impressive 15 year old,” because it’s not going to happen, but it’s hard to not wish sometimes.
I don’t know what will happen or how things will turn out, but all I can do is keep trying and try to find value in that and whatever life I happen to live. I don’t know if I’ll live until I’m 80 or even 30, but I hope I get old and I’ll try to keep thinking, “It’s never too late.”